Always in my Heart
by Lithoniel Sedai
Summary: ... and either must die at the hand of the other... 9 years post GoF, Harry prepares for the final battle. Songfic, Wherever You Will Go The Calling


Always in my heart  
The product of an overwrought 16 year old. r&r. Flames welcome.  
A songfic to Wherever You Will Go by The Calling. As usual I own nothing  
and they own everything.  
  
**So lately, I've been wondering - who will be there to take my place?  
When I'm gone, you'll need love - to light the shadows on your face.  
If a great wave shall fall it - would fall upon us all.  
And between the sand and stone - could you make it on your own**  
  
Harry opened his eyes blearily and stretched his scarred arms above his  
head. When had he fallen asleep?  
He hadn't meant to.  
He dragged himself out of bed for the last time. He glanced at his aurors  
robes, but shook his head and pulled on his old Gryffindor robes.  
He glanced down at his sleeping partner and tears began to slowly form in  
his eyes.  
He blinked them back furiously. He couldn't lose his focus, not now. Not  
when the whole world was depending on him.  
'Sweetie, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.' he whispered before dropping a  
light kiss on the rumpled, sleepy cheek of his spouse.  
He placed the note on his pillow. It was where they had always left each  
other notes and gifts, since they had first started seeing each other.  
He smiled at the soppiness of the whole ritual. The first note had said  
that even if they couldn't wake up next to the other, at least there was  
something of that person next to them.  
He sat, lost in his thoughts until the sleeping form stirred next to him  
and, muttering a sleeping spell, he stood up.  
His eye caught the cot in the corner and he crossed the room. No! he told  
himself sternly. It is better for him, that I do this. My little James will  
have a chance to live, because of me.  
He smoothed the black tuft of hair growing from his sons head and closed  
his eyes against the tears battling against his eyelids.  
He glanced around the room for the last time before shutting the door with  
a quiet click behind him.  
*Please forgive me, my darling. I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to worry  
you and you would beg me so hard to stay that I wouldn't be able to refuse.  
I have to do this, I have to.*  
  
**If I could, then I would  
I'll go wherever you will go  
Way up high, or down low  
I'll go wherever you will go.**  
Sirius was standing in his kitchen, tears were streaking his cheeks and his  
eyes had regained the haunted look of Azkaban.  
'Please Harry, don't go through with this. Dumbledore's a fool. There has  
to be another way. There has to be. Don't go, please. I can't lose you like  
I lost James. Please, please. I am begging you. Don't do this.'  
Harry looked away and answered as firmly as he could. 'Sirius, get control  
of yourself. You know there is no other way.'  
'Then let me come with you. I'll help. We can go together.'  
'Sirius, you can't. I need you to stay here. Look after James and .' Harry  
tried to prevent his voice from breaking. He fought with himself and  
continued. 'and the others, especially Remus. He wouldn't live long being  
the last marauder . You must stay strong for them. For me.'  
'Harry.'  
'Please, Siri. This is hard enough as it is.'  
'.you're only twenty three years old. Think about what you are doing.'  
'I am thinking damn it. I have been thinking about this since I was 14. I  
knew in my heart it would come to this. This in the only way. Don't you  
think I am scared? Don't you think that I am terrified? I have never felt  
this scared before. I can't stop shaking. I quiver every time I even think  
of.what's about to happen, but this is the way it has to be. Dumbledore and  
I have searched for God knows how long to find another way and all that has  
happened is that more lives have been lost. Every time I stalled, more  
died, and I kept thinking "it will be ok, the next book will turn something  
up" until Seamus died. Then Flitwick, then Draco. Percy and Ginny joined  
Voldemort for fucks sake. I am the only boy from my year who is on our side  
and is still alive. Then when Hermione and Bill were killed I knew that I  
had left it to late. I am already to late to save my best friends lives. I  
have to try and save the few people who are left.'  
  
**And maybe, I'll find out - the way to make it back some day  
  
To watch you to guide you - through the darkest of your days  
  
If a great wave should fall - it will fall upon us all  
  
Well I hope there's someone out there  
  
Who can bring me back to you**  
  
'Well you could have at least told people, said goodbye. I only know  
because I overheard Snape and Albus discussing it.'  
'Yes, and that's how it has to be. Twenty or so people reacting like you  
would make it fifty times harder for me. As it is.'  
Harry bowed his head in misery as the tears won their final battle with  
him. Tears of regret that his child would never know his father. That the  
Sirius and Remus would be left alone. Outcasts in the wizarding world.  
But he had a job to do.  
Harry clambered to his feet. His face set and determined. His eyes were  
hard. Only his trembling hands betrayed him.  
'I have left everyone letters explaining my actions. Yours is in with my  
will. It's addressed to Snuffles. I will catch Pettigrew first if I can. At  
least I will be able to do something right for you.'  
One last hug from his tearstained god-father. 'You're the only thing I have  
that's close to a father. Be one for James, if you can. But don't take  
unnecessary risks. I love you. Good-bye Sirius.'  
His heart as heavy as his suddenly lead filled legs, Harry turned and left  
the room. Sirius watched him fly past the window his beloved Firebolt (how  
Sirius wished he had never given him the wretched thing that would take him  
to the end) and a wail of distress from upstairs made his chin sink to his  
chest in despair before and he ran upstairs to the soon to be widow and  
child.  
  
**Runaway with my heart  
  
Runaway with my hope  
  
Runaway with my love**  
  
************************  
  
Harry stood before Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape. Tears glittered in  
the elder wizards eyes.  
  
'Are you sure about this Harry? You can always change your mind.'  
'He won't. His blasted Gryffindor bravery will see to that. Stupid moronic  
fool.'  
'Still a cold hearted bastard Snape? Even on the day that you can finally  
be free of me? Well, I guess breaking tradition seems a little pointless,  
only for one day.'  
'Harry.I-'  
'Don't Snape, not now. It's not worth it.'  
'As you wish Potter.'  
'Just try not to be such a bastard to my son. You have no reason to be  
now.'  
Snape raised an eyebrow and Harry smiled wryly. 'Or carry on being a  
bastard, if you want.'  
He turned to Dumbledore, He turned to Dumbledore, 'Please look after them  
sir, Sirius said he would but.'  
'I understand.'  
'Good-bye Harry.'  
'Good-bye Professor Dumbledore. Thank you for everything.'  
'You're making a mistake Potter.'  
Harry looked at him sadly. 'No I'm not, don't try to pretend. Good-bye  
Professor.'  
Snape's unusually ashen face nodded to him and the Boy Who Lived To Die  
left the room for one final time.  
Harry checked his watch. He had an hour. One hour to live. Panic suddenly  
set in and he collapsed shaking to the floor, leaning against the Gargoyle  
to Dumbledore's office, reliving the events that had lead to this.  
He thought back on the day that he was married. Sirius and Ron standing  
proudly by his side. The flash of green light that had issued from Ginny's  
wand at the reception and left Ron dead at his feet. The replica of that  
light flying from Percy's wand and Draco fell next to Hermione.  
The battle that ensued leaving most of the wedding guests dead or injured.  
The day that James was born. The same day that the Minister of Magic,  
Arthur Weasley, was killed by Lucius Malfoy.  
The day that Harry arrived at Hermione and Bill Weasley-Granger's flat to  
find Bill, Hermione and baby Ron dead.  
His heart bled for Molly, Charlie and the twins. Their family, torn apart,  
in ruins.  
'Mr Potter!' a sharp Scottish brogue cut through his depressed mind  
ramblings and he stumbled to his feet, an automatic response from seven  
years of schooling.  
'Harry? What's wrong? Why are you here?'  
'Nothing's wrong Professor McGonagall. The war is going to end in, oh,  
twenty minutes or so and I have to be there for the big finish. Good-bye.'  
************  
Harry flicked his wand at the stupefied form of Peter Pettigrew,  
transporting him to Albus's office and reached into his pocket, to pull out  
the framed photo of him, Hermione and Ron at graduation. The photo-portkey  
transported him directly to the graveyard, where Voldemort had taken his  
blood nine years ago.  
He turned to face his red-eyed adversary. His wand held firmly, unshaking  
in front of him.  
He allowed his mind one last mental glance at what might have been and was  
filled with sudden peace. He raised his wand and without saying a word  
obliterated the Lord of Darkness.  
Energy pulsated from him, draining him as he fought to ensure the  
destruction of the evil soul before him. He collapsed as the curse ended.  
All his energy gone as he struggled to breathe for the last time.  
Out of the corner he saw Sirius and his Beloved running, sobbing towards  
him. They bent over him and he tried to reach for the sweet face swimming  
before his half-blinded eyes, but was to weak. He looked from one to the  
other and with his last tortured breath he whispered sadly and sweetly.  
'I'll always be with you.'  
  
**I know now, just quite how  
My life and love might still go on  
In your heart and your mind  
I'll stay with you for all of time**  
He was surrounded by white light and floated upwards towards the smiling  
faces of his best friends and Lily and James Potter.  
One last glance down at his godfather and wife, sobbing out their hearts,  
cradling his lifeless body in their arms.  
  
I wrote and posted this ages ago, but when I re-read it, it needed editing.  
I have changed Harry's partner to an unknown gender, because there are so  
many good Harry pairings out there that I figured it would be better for my  
readers to choose. 


End file.
